invisible

So, last 2 days, the result is announced. Too bad because as soon as I looked at the email, I felt the eyes pooling. At worst when I fb looking and chatting, I lost my self control and feels so sad. Soon after I chatting, I realised I am doomed. I can feel whole massacre of own heart. I was talking to the phone with him, but nothing was speakable despite the sobbing . I know I have been expecting too much that when it turns out not well, I am hell frustrated. the very next day, I logged in fb, observed the congratulatory fest on facebook as 40+ peoples in my batch are celebrating, achieved Dean List. I didn't join. I' rather observing and it only lasts 10 minutes and I decided to log out and do nothing. I should be happy because there my friends leap with excitement, enjoy everything. But, I couldnt lie, I am sad. But guys, CONGRATULATIONS, you guys did very well.  whoever might read this, I may not appear to congarulate the achievers by myself on facebook, but I am happy for you guys. Syaz and Futu, don't worry I'll be fine sooner or later. I gonna calm myself and look for the strength again. This might be a bit difficult than last semester, but I will doing fine. I have to take all the time to recover and start over the next sem. I hope I am able to get rid the negativity that overwhelmed inside.half of me is giving it up. and the other half is hopeless. they said, I have to take the sword and fight again and leave the past in past.the matter of a fact, hurting is growing. I watch my spirits died. And this is dreadful because I have build it out of concrete and still, a simple slip take away all my motivation. I hope I can say I am alright. I am not alone, Allah never leaves me :D

Everyday I try to look my best, Eventhough inside I am such a mess

*Listenig to Skylar Grey-Invisible*